Parenting Advice: What if My Child Won't Go to School?
"How do I get my nine-year-old daughter to school? She seems to have tummy aches or headaches constantly, and misses several days of school each week. Any suggestion that she must go and she screams and cries and seems to be genuinely afraid of going to school. What can we do?"
You have to be firm with her, and not try to just wait it out. If she misses too much school, she will never go back.
However, don't be angry with her as her anxiety and distress are real.
Try to work out if her fear is about going to school (school phobia), leaving you or home (separation anxiety), or going into crowded public places (agoraphobia).
If it might be the first, check if she is being bullied, teased, embarrassed, or abused at, or on the way to, school. Work closely with the teachers to identify and deal with any problematic situations.
Take her to the doctor for a complete physical examination. Tell the doctor the whole story and ask him to rule out any serious illnesses.
Once the doctor has done this, believe him! Do not chase after ever more expensive tests. From this point onwards your assumption is that the child is well and so should be in school. Give her firm and confident reassurance that both she and you will be fine when she is there. If she complains again of being unwell you then have two options:
Option one is to tell her she has to go to school. Of course if she shows symptoms of real illness, you would keep her home. Simply "not feeling good" isn't a good enough reason not to go. Adults go to work with headaches and other fairly minor ailments.
The second option is to take her word for it and act accordingly. Since she is ill, she should be in bed. Turn off her lights, close the curtains, and don't allow any TV or special snacks. Just go about your daily routine and don't give her any attention. Make sure that being at home is as boring as can be. If she can't sleep, then she should work on her studies. Don't allow any visitors.
You can also establish some rewards for going to school.
Resolve to stick to your guns, but do it calmly. Make it known that you expect her to attend school but don't fight with her. Your goal is to make her want to go, and soon. As soon as she goes and learns that both of you are doing fine while she is there, then her depression and anxiety should go away.
If these techniques don't work and you think she may be seriously depressed or anxious, then find professional help by asking your family doctor for a referral.
By: Dr. Noel Swanson..
Article Source: http://www.live-article.com
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